i use the word fuck so excessively i sometimes forget it’s a swear word
I don’t think Emily really loves Paige as much as Paige loves Emily…
Notice how Paige keeps saying I love you but I’ve only heard Emily say it once…
Don’t bite me. Its just an opinion.
Not biting just…
I understand where Emily comes from even though I identify more closely with Paige.
People often suppress their feelings for someone if they are afraid they are going to lose them. I do this all the time. Personally, I think that among the MANY other things going on in Emily’s mind right now she’s pushing Paige away unconsciously because she’s afraid for her
TW: Dysphoria, TW: Transphobia, TW: Racism
So first to frame everything i guess i need to come out. Hi Im Shelton, I am 23, Transmasculine GenderQueer, on HRT and in transition. Im hearing with speech processing issues. I identify as Queer. I also live with PTSD. I am a white passing, “light-skinned” person of Mexican descent. My father is mixed and my mother is Mexican. She came to California as a adolescent in the late 1950s.
Growing up my mother made very clear what was expected of me, go to college, get married to a nice Mexican man and have babies. Well so far the only thing I’ve done is the school part. I new I was trans* when i was 4 and didn’t understand why i wasn’t like other boys. That was also around the same time i was told that my use of spanish as my primary language was bad, and would isolate me from my father’s racist family. So i was forced to learn english and forgot my spanish.
my upbringing consisted of white people in my school telling me i was too mexican to hang out with them and the meixcan kids (including my darker skinned cousin) told me i wasn’t mexican enough. So in high school i was nothing. Then I started becoming aware of my queer identity and embraced it. In college again I became aware of my Trans* identity and it became clear that it caused friction within my family life. If the goal for mexican girls was to get married and have babies, then my trans*Queer identity got in the way of that. This led to no support whatsoever from my mother and brother.
Fast Forward to 2012 when Ive been living as an out Trans* person for two years, still no support from my family, and having to transition in secret. Having no way of venting or safe space in my own home while facing bouts of dysphoria and experiences with institutionalized transphobia.
Now here we are March 2014. I am applying for graduation, under my birth name because my college does not allow for preferred names. As a working class TPOC i live paycheck to paycheck on minimum wage, and am unable to pay for most costs of transitioning. I spend most of my money on health insurance which doesn’t leave much money for anything else. I don’t have the hundreds of dollars it takes to change my name and gender legally and get my documents changed and my mother does not support my transition so i am on my own in it. Having to go office to office and as someone one year on T having people question if I’m using a fake ID or why am I using a girls paperwork and either getting irate with me or treating me like I’m diseased. that process was rough.
Then i come home to a critical mother who says that i made my life hard on myself with my decisions. my decision to be different. Like i had a choice. My brain bruised and over stimulated with having to fight back tears from institutionalized assumptions about gender and transphobia. She says well maybe if your hair wasn’t so short or if you weren’t so fat. No mother, its because i am a “boy” who is still walking around with a girls ID and name. “Well, mija, if only…” it is then that i realize why this is hard for her. For me to be Shelton, her son. that she calls “mijo” it means that she has to give up on the grandchildren, and the wedding, and the little girl that she wanted. All the things that for her generation, make her a true mexican woman. All i want is to be called shelton and mijo, but to do that means that she has to give up all she ever wanted. And that I know is never going to happen
I wouldn’t say never. Sometimes you’d be surprised by how time can change people. Something my happen that makes your mother realize what all mothers have to realize at some point if they love their children. That its not about what SHE wants.
She will come around eventually, even if eventually is 20 years from now (I’d also like to remind you how long it took some of us who knew you for a year or two to use masculine pronouns with you… you’re mom’s been using the opposite for you’re entire life. It’s going to be hard but she’ll get there).
In the mean time, you have plenty of sibs that love the fuck out of you and getting you’re name and gender legally changed takes time, but it WILL eventually happen. Until then stay strong and let me know if I need to beat anyone up for you, kay?
THESE ARE NOT OKAY
READING THESE WAS A MISTAKE
i rewatched all of paily’s scenes yesterday and i swear to god paige is head over heels in love with emily all the time and emily is mildly interested at best
like come on emily appreciate paige before someone else does it for you
The pool scene, the scene in 4x19, Emily saying she wants that future with her at Stanford, Emily choosing Paige over her friends when they thought she was “A”, Mushy squash, I know there’s more and I know that I could word this better. But right now that’s all I’ve got.
#SINCE THE BEGINING #LOOK AT HOW #EMILY FIELDS #IS LOOKING AT #PAIGE MCCULLERS #SHE SAW THE #REAL PAIGE #THAT NIGHT AT THE KARAOKE BAR #AND REALIZED THIS WAS THE GIRL SHE HAS ALWAYS LOOKED FOR #CAUSE EVEN WHEN SHE TRIED TO CONVINCE HERSELF SHE WAS STRAIGHT #SHE STILL LOOKED FOR #GUYS LIKE PAIGE #AND NOW THEY’RE ON A SECOND DATE #AND SHE’S JUST LOOKING AT HER WITH SO MUCH CURIOSITY AND WANT #AND THEN THE BUBBLE GOT BURST WHEN PAIGE WOULDN’T COME OUT #BUT JUST LOOK AT HER LOOKING AT HER HERE #WELL PLAYED SHAY #PAILY PICNIC
yes thank god my emily loves paige feels are back 100%
a+ to you all
pretty much that. season 5 has just relagated Paige into “Emily’s girlfriend” and nothing more
it’s very disappointing when you consider what they’ve already put them through and the backstory paige has. she has so much potential, yet they’re squandering it by putting her in the background and only bringing her out when it’s time for some unnecessary drama.
They only bring in Paige enough to show us that they haven’t forgotten about her, but they are choosing to leave her on the sidelines. They’re trying to set things up for Emison, but I personally, don’t even think Emison could happen until halfway through season 5 at the earliest. The writers have said Paily will be in season 5 though, so I”m a bit confused
had LIndsey Shaw not been so talented and injected more into Paige than on paper, we wouldn’t have even gotten Paige beyond those 3 episodes. They clearly like her enough to bring her back, realize she’s talented, but DON’T DO A DAMN THING ABOUT IT. And it’s just like, why PLL, why
anatomy of a panic attack
accurate as fuck
OH NO PAILY!!!
Uhmmmm…. Source please?
- don’t ever feel bad for asking me to tag a trigger
- i do not care what the trigger is
- i will tag it for you
- you have legitimate reasons to be triggered by it
- and i am not one to question those reasons
- so just send me an ask
- anonymous if you’re scared
- and i will tag it all the time in future
- your wellbeing is worth twenty extra seconds of my time at least